The Day I Blossomed Like a Spring Flower

Three years ago today, I moved to Chicago.  I moved from Rockford, from a condo off the bus line. There, I lived a detached life rationalized by reading good books, writing bad prose and becoming computer literate.  I supplemented physical isolation with emotional unavailability.  I depended on others to meet my needs.  I sought refuge among the safe and the familiar.  My Seeing Eye dog atrophied from disuse.  My lifestyle made sense only in the context that I was going blind, I was frozen by fear and I was depressed.

Then I moved to Chicago to live with my girlfriend, now my wife.  Our first Sunday together, I knocked over a full pot of coffee onto the Sunday Tribune.  Later, I broke the lawn mower running it over the water meter.  That afternoon, at a  garden reception, I talked to empty chairs and continued conversations with people who had strolled away.  On the way home, I caught my favorite shirt in the car door and ripped the entire pocket from the body.  I finished by pouring orange juice into the silverware drawer.

My wife said, “This has been a tough day for you, hasn’t it?”

“Probably tougher on you, my dear,” I said.  “As for me, I took some risks.  Not all panned out, but that’s not your fault.  Some were careless, but I don’t feel the fool.  I’m still standing and I hope your head is held high.  Maybe I should stick to what’s safe.  But the burden of fear is lifting and I am living a little.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait until next weekend.”

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3 Responses to The Day I Blossomed Like a Spring Flower

  1. bethfinke says:

    So glad you stayed, Jeff. I know your wife is, too!

  2. Susie says:

    hooray Jeff! I enjoy your humor and honesty!
    Happy that you have arrived! You give us hope!

  3. Carl D says:

    The blossoms of spring last in our minds eye. The yellows and blues are there for the remembering. So, your wife seems to forgive you for all the things – I do. If there is a day that goes as if we planned for then I’ll give a wild woop. Jeff – you are a person with the courage to make us laugh at ourselves. Keep up the good work.

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