What Do I Look Like?

“May I ask you a question?”

“Anything, Dear,” replies my wife.

“What do I look like?”

Silence. “That bad?” I ask.

“Not that. It’s just, I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.”

“Nor have I ever asked it of anyone.”

“Why now?”

“Someone at work told me I have wise eyes. Do you think so?”

“You have very expressive eyes, Dear. Wisdom is there. So is merriment. So is pain.”

“Thank you. Do you see kindness?”

“You are a very kind man. Do you not know that?”

“I feel it, yes. But that’s not the same as seeing it.”

“That’s odd, Dear,” says my wife. “You mean you need to see something to believe it? That’s odd, coming from you.”

“It is strange, come to think of it. Like, I haven’t seen my face in twelve years, but I sure know it’s still there. And I can’t see your face, but I can tell your expression from your tone of voice.”

“Fair enough,” says my wife. “Now I have a question for you. Does not being able to see people make you less judgmental of them?”

“Absolutely not, sorry to say. I just wait for someone to say something stupid. Then I know.”

“That’s my guy. And the uninitiated say blind people operate on a higher plane.”

“That’s a good one. Perhaps we base judgment on content rather than style. But judge we do.”

“What else do you want to know about how you look?”

“Not much. I know I’m going gray. Other than that, I’m not all that curious. I guess not seeing myself kind of keeps me ageless.”

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7 Responses to What Do I Look Like?

  1. Micky QH says:

    Well said Jeff. I must confess some envy at the conversations you have with Mary. Both sides of our family have more than our fair share of smart-alecs who could not imagine expressing such unabashed kindness. I see what you mean about how your quality of life has improved in recent years. Keep it up. I look forward to reading this blog every week and often share it with my family and friends.

  2. bethfinke says:

    Agree that losing sight relieves us of constantly thinking (and talking!) about how old we are getting. I like that. And like you, I can’t judge people until they talk or do something. I have come to appreciate the way blindness prevents me from judging others by how they look. Hard to do if you can see.

    • Jeff Flodin says:

      Thank you, Micky, Beth and Ann. I am blessed with people in my life who see beyond. I am lucky to have been given the strength to accept what they say. I am fortunate that people like you take the time to read and comment on what strikes a chord.

  3. Ann Kleboe says:

    I think I will start believing that what is see about my age is insignificant

  4. Matthew Carello says:

    I have been reading this for a while now. the column i mean. I do understand the ageless comment. I kind of feel that at times not being able to see myself.

  5. Carl D. says:

    I love your mild banter. The oneness of your conversation. The fact that you both are talking on the same subject. It is not just one person talking and the other listening.
    Did you hear Beth on the radio – this morning? She can’t tell David from David. It was darling. And she did not mention her cane.

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