My mother has discovered The PowerThe Power is a book promoting the Law of Attraction, a new spin on the old notion that ye reap what ye sow.  In solidarity, I’m taking this message to the street.

I’m starting with drivers who almost hit me.  Instead of my practiced, four-letter-laced outbursts, I now shout, “You missed me that time!  Keep up the good work!”  Having put aside vengeance, I choose to kill them with kindness.

In crosswalks, I preach positive phrasing.  Crosswalks are so named because first I cross myself, then I walk.  Up to 49% across, cars drive in front of me; 51% across, cars drive behind me.  I become the urban toreador.  “Good way to lose a cheek,” would have said Kevin, my high school friend who pre-dated The Power. “I’ve always wanted a Lexus, just not in my hip pocket,” would have said my father, on whom automobiles exerted Laws of Attraction.

When solo, I enter crosswalks waving my cane like a checkered flag while shouting “Your patience shall find reward!”  With Randy, I grab the harness and pray that his status as guide dog will elicit respect.  “Lookie here, dog lovers,” I holler.  Then comes the rumble and hiss as two tons of metal cruises in for a closer look.  “Mind his whiskers, please.”

Hey, I know urban driving is sensory overload.  Drivers juggle lights, horns, sirens, busses, taxis, bicycles, walkers, texters, mascara and cell phones.  But the law states that crosswalks must be cleared of pedestrians prior to motor vehicles entering that hallowed ground.  I find adherence minimal and enforcement nonexistent.

Do you see the potential for improvement here?  My mother’s life is richer, all ninety years of it.  Her example inspires me.  Instead of berating drivers for near hits, I now praise them for near misses.  Through encouraging words shall my safety be ensured.

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4 Responses to Crosswalk

  1. bethfinke says:

    Oh, so glad your dad never got a Lexus! A UC Berkeley study reported by the Los Angeles Times earlier this year found that people who drive luxury cars are more likely to cut off other drivers and pedestrians. For the study, observers hid near a four-way-stop intersection in downtown Berkeley and wrote down the makes, years and conditions of cars and whether the drivers waited their turn at theintersection. They found that people driving the most expensive cars were four times as likely as drivers of the least expensive cars to enter the intersection when they didn’t have the right of way. It was even worse when it came to yielding to pedestrians.

  2. Matthew Carello says:

    It does seem the people with the cars that would be done most damage too just don’t care. Also I hate it when people decide they can go halfway to almost across the whole crosswalk. The last car that did that to me got an accidental knee to his front right panel. Me and Edgar went to cross and he stopped and i probed with my knee. After the smack of my knee into the car i said around and we were off. No pain no gain I guess lol.

  3. Jenny T says:

    Hi Jeff and everyone else who leaves comments at this blog. I just want to say thank you for writing truthfully and honestly, without platitudes, about blindness and vision loss. I stumbled upon your blog during a day when I was feeling particularly down and annoyed about losing the remainder of my sight. No, this wasn’t a recent thing. Actually, it happened some time ago, in my teens, after some necessary surgeries made me lose the rest of what little sight I had to begin with, but still, there are many days when it is hard. I loved your comments about the crosswalk. The other day, two cyclists almost ran into my guidedog Blazer and me. To add insult to injury, they both cursed at us, and yelled “watch out stupid,” and one of them, a neighbor told me who saw it happen, was an off duty police officer. So, I’m going to try your tactics. It can’t get any worse, right? Oh, maybe your team would have had better luck than mine, because I just spent way too much time and money watching my beloved Tigers get swept out of the World Series. Blazer doesn’t like sporting events either, so when I go, he goes to grandma’s for spoiling. Thanks so much for your words. Jenny and Blazer

  4. farrboot says:

    Amazing wit. Cheers me up. Thx.

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