Please follow this link to read part one of “That Ain’t Blind”
“What’s on your mind?” asked my friend.
“I’m a mess,” I said. “I sabotaged a human connection by a silly resentment. Then I castigated myself for being human. I want to stop beating up on someone else one minute and then beating up on myself the next.”
My friend said, “I am going to reframe your story. I will emphasize strengths rather than faults. This is not smoke and mirrors. This is not a trick.”
“Fire away,” I said.
“You seek meaning in loss,” she began. “You seek connection with yourself and others. You are not separated by your disability. You are united by your emotional responses. None of us can “see” ourselves. Each of us struggles with self-acceptance. Are you with me so far?”
“We are parallel lines,” I said.
She took a deep breath. “So, even as we seek self-acceptance, we judge others from our own self-condemnation. The paradox here is that this reactive judgment is our best and perhaps only path to greater freedom, as it is how we can get in touch with residual grief for what we feel we “should” be. Still with me?”
“Wow!” was all I could muster.
She chuckled. “Allowing this grief to surface, we are truly giving ourselves permission to be who we are. And when witnessed and accepted by others, we join in the vulnerability of life. Shame is released, leaving us the peace of knowing that we are fully human and one with all others, yet still ourselves. Through this recognition, we become essential to the whole; compassion and acceptance are restored. The peace of acceptance will always prevail.”
I sighed. “I think I’m beginning to see the light. It’s deceptively simple.”
“Let’s go over it again, line by line,” she suggested. So we did. And so it goes.