That Ain’t Blind, The Sequel

Please follow this link to read part one of “That Ain’t Blind”

“What’s on your mind?” asked my friend.

“I’m a mess,” I said.  “I sabotaged a human connection by a silly resentment.  Then I castigated myself for being human.  I want to stop beating up on someone else one minute and then beating up on myself the next.”

My friend said, “I am going to reframe your story.  I will emphasize strengths rather than faults.  This is not smoke and mirrors.  This is not a trick.”

“Fire away,” I said.

“You seek meaning in loss,” she began.  “You seek connection with yourself and others.  You are not separated by your disability.  You are united by your emotional responses.  None of us can “see” ourselves. Each of us struggles with self-acceptance.  Are you with me so far?”

“We are parallel lines,” I said.

She took a deep breath.  “So, even as we seek self-acceptance, we judge others from our own self-condemnation.  The paradox here is that this reactive judgment is our best and perhaps only path to greater freedom, as it is how we can get in touch with residual grief for what we feel we “should” be.  Still with me?”

“Wow!” was all I could muster.

She chuckled.  “Allowing this grief to surface, we are truly giving ourselves permission to be who we are.  And when witnessed and accepted by others, we join in the vulnerability of life.  Shame is released, leaving us the peace of knowing that we are fully human and one with all others, yet still ourselves.  Through this recognition, we become essential to the whole; compassion and acceptance are restored.  The peace of acceptance will always prevail.”

I sighed.  “I think I’m beginning to see the light.  It’s deceptively simple.”

“Let’s go over it again, line by line,” she suggested.  So we did.  And so it goes.

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2 Responses to That Ain’t Blind, The Sequel

  1. YES! Such a wise insightful person, your friend. Thanks. By sharing, I too begin see the light.

  2. Jenny T says:

    Wow Jeff, I have no words! But as I have found, sometimes it takes someone else, someone you might expect or not, to really hammer home a point. Your friends words have really helped me, especially to think critically and emotionally about my feelings and how to accept them. Your willingness to share your friend’s incredible wisdom speaks to your compassion, as well as your friend’s kindness and ability to help others. Thank you for another wonderful post. In just a few short sentences, your friend has truly helped me understand some things about myself. I’m also glad that you found Until Tuesday to be a good read. Now that I feel much better and lightened, I can go to rowing practice and simply enjoy the nice weather. I haven’t been able to get Blazer to bark out the strokes yet, but I’m working on it. Considering he’s only 70 pounds, he would be the lightest member of my university’s team and, in addition to providing morale and being the team’s unofficial mascot, he could be a real secret weapon in our matches, assuming I can keep him in the boat and from jumping into the water. Jenny and her amazing guidedog Blazer

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